I know, you all must be thinking Fattu slept through most of her summer vacation.

NO.

Fattu had summer work. And then Mom and Papa, all these days, saying Fattu do this, Fattu do that, Fattu don’t play, Fattu don’t run.

At times, I wonder, why I was born as such an important soul on the Mother earth, that the whole day two people have to go on calling me, all the time.

Anyway, perhaps I am much better than Happy uncle’s daughter Saifu, which is why they keep on calling me- not Saifu.

Saifu is one girl, who is sadly my friend.

And last week, Happy uncle, Manpreet Aunty, Saifu, their driver Gajendra, and me went for shopping.

Why was I there? Yes, because of my Papa.

“Send Fattu to have some breath of fresh air. Happy Singh is going for shopping with his family, let her go too. I am fed up with her, when she comes with us. She should see Saifu, who never asks anything from her Mom and Papa.”

So I had to wear my Black T-shirt and jeans, and accompany Happy uncles’ family- specially Saifu -the sweety!!

Fattu: Saifu, let’s go and check out the HOT Wheels models.

Saifu: No Fattu, let’s look at the Barbie dresses.

Fattu: Even I love Barbie, but I love cars too.

Saifu: Cars? My prince charming would come on a horse.

Fattu: I have only seen Horses on television. On these roads they are not allowed Saifu.

Saifu: Oh shut up, Fattu. Look at that white dress, it is so beautiful. And the pink flowers on them, they are so lovely. How do you wear Jeans and all?

Fattu: I just put my legs into them, simple.

Saifu: Shut up Fattu. Do you like candlelight dinners?

Fattu: No. Papa has got generators in our house. Why should we have dinner in the candle light?

Saifu: Oh Fattu! You are so silly.

Fattu: Oh Saifu, it is so sad, you are with your parents, otherwise…!! (I got a bit..you know what)

Saifu: I hate violence Fattu, look at those lovely flowers. They are so charming and fresh.

Fattu: yeah, but they are not free, Papa told me last time.

Saifu: Sadly Fattu, there is a price for everything in this world. Such beauty, but still.

I tell you, Saifu is disgusting at times. I just don’t understand what she keeps on talking about.

And Happy Uncle and Manpreet Aunty!

They have nothing to do, except look at Saifu, and ask her. Saifu, you need Juice beta, Saifu, you need flowers beta, Saifu, you need Barbie beta.

I wonder who should have come for the shopping -me, or Papa- if learning was the whole issue!!

They bought two dresses for Saifu. Those things I would never ask Papa to get for me. Irritating flowery frocks!

And Happy Uncle bought two magician T-shirts. Huge Black Balls made on white background on one. And the other was White Balls made on Black background. I hope he does not wear them while coming to our place. He also bought four Bermudas. And kept on saying: Garmi mein Changa Hai!!

Manpreet aunty bought a suit for herself.

They forcefully asked me what do I want. I did not want anything, but then it looks bad isn’t it?

So I got myself a toy pistol. Don’t think Happy Uncle was very happy buying me that. Because he said, Fattu, you are colony’s Phoolan Devi!

I don’t know why he called me Goddess of Flower, when I had a pistol on my hand.

Probably, he does not want to be my first victim.

Hehe!!

I am angry with Papa.

He did not let me watch Flintstones. He watched the old uncle on Aaj Tak instead.

What can be more important than smiling with Fred and Barney? Papa said government of our country is changing and it is more important than cartoon network. He said we have to hear the old uncle to know what is happening in New Delhi. Papa says I might get a question in my general knowledge exam next time-Who is the new Prime Minister of India?

Now I am Fattu, but not That Fattu!

I know who is the new Prime Minister even without being bored by that old uncle on TV.

Sonia Gandhi.

Why does Papa need to sit in front of the tv for 3 hours to know who is the new Prime Minister? Why did not he ask Grandmummy? She knows. But as Grandmummy says, Papa did never listen to her!

But I listen to Grandmummy. She was talking about Sonia Gandhi yesterday. I heard while Grandmummy was telling Sharbati about it.

(Oh! Did I tell you about Sharbati? Sharbati works in our home.Her job is to clean our home every evening and then listen to whatever Grandmummy lectures on, for atleast an hour.Papa pays her extra for that.She is nice but I don't like her because she laughs whenever she sees me in my Minnie Mouse shirt and Scooby-Doo shorts. Munni Mausi got it from America last year. I look very nice in it. But Sharbati always shows her yellow teeth and makes a sound. I do not like Sharbati.)

Grandmummy was telling Sharbati that she does not dislike Sonia Gandhi becoming the new Prime Minister. Grandmummy said just like while fixing a marriage we look at the girl's family and their name and reputation, in the same manner, Sonia Gandhi has a good family name. So she will not be bad as Prime Minister.

Sharbati believes everything Grandmummy says.

I do not care who is the Prime Minister. I know the answer to the question if Jhunjhun Madam asks it. That is enough.

Only one good thing happened because of new government.

For the first time, Grandmummy and Chaman Uncle agreed with each other, and Grandmummy herself offered her laddoo to Chaman Uncle because Chaman Uncle likes Sonia Gandhi as Prime Minister, just like Grandmummy.

Chaman Uncle is our neighbour.He does not have hair on his head. Sharbati calls him 'ujda-chaman'. Grandmummy does not like him because he always comes and finishes the laddoos she makes.

Chaman Uncle does not like Grandmummy because Grandmummy watches lots of tv and does not spend all her time singing bhajans like his mummy.

Grandmummy is smart. Chaman Uncle does not like people who are smarter than him.

He does not like me either.

HeHe.

But the sad thing about new government still remains.

Papa sees the old uncle on tv with a serious face.

Because of that i miss my serials.

I laugh when I see Fred and Barney, or Tom and Jerry.

What is more important? Serious face or laughter?

What is the use of old uncle speaking all day long if it cannot make people who watch him, like Papa, smile?

Dildar was getting worse and worse.

I hate him. Just because his name is Dildar, he can’t call me Dilruba!

I am Fattu. Take it or leave it?

He is such a nasty guy, and to day, I was determined to teach him a lesson or two.

My mood was down. Seeing that Untitled in Megha didi’s blog.

And here comes Dildar with his gang, to tease me in school. To be honest, I was bit scared to see the sharp pencil and a compass in his hand.

But then, I told myself, Fattu, you also know karate. And you have to hit back, at this Dildar. So, what he has become so fat and huge. So what he looks like a Yeti.

You have to hit back.

I challenged Dildar, alone. I told him, if you have eaten Kellogg’s cornflakes, then come and get me.

I knew Dildar would surely accept my challenge. He gave a laughter, and said, Fattu, you little brat, and that too a girl you challenge me, Dildar- Lord of the universe. Do you realize, I have been suspended from P.T.Class nearly seven times, a new school record?

I said, so what, Come get me, you YETI! Fattu is not scared of you. You are a fat buffoon, and I can’t allow you to spread buffoonery all over the corridors of my school.

Dildar said, You Fattu, block-head. You dare not challenge me. After saying this, he made a loud sound.

The pink walls of our school shook. The flowers made a scary face. Our Mathematics teacher fell on the ground and fainted. And all the other students locked themselves in their respective classrooms.

I am Fattu. I screamed loud too, in return. And with that scream everybody lost the power to hear. They just had eyes, to see the BIG FIGHT.

Dildar came towards me running. I could see him running like mad, towards me. I was standing still on my place, not scared at all. He kept on running towards me at amazing pace. And when he reached me, he lost his breath, and started panting in front of me.

The fat Yeti that he is!

I looked at him, and gave him one tight slap, and then a karate kick-, which was enough to have him on the ground. Then I sat on him, and pulled his hair, and kept on pulling, until they were all in my hand. I felt dirty, and then stood up. Everybody was looking at me, with a scared look at their face.

I won over Dildar. I went towards my favorite hot wheels car, which was parked near the window, took it and went home.

I hate guys who disturb me. I hate eve-teasers. And I am not supposed to be funny all the time.

I am scary.

There are some people in my life, who look the same.

1. My Karate Teacher- whose name is “Sir”. (Isn’t is surprising, all the boy teachers have the same name!)
2. Our guard- who keeps a watch on our house, whose name is Gurung. And whenever he sees me, he pulls my cheek and says- Baby, nasho nasho, nasho….I am not a Baby any more, and when I asked Mummy, why he says Nasho, every time he sees me. Mummy said, I dance very well, so he asks me to dance. I never knew Mummy made me learn dancing, to dance for him.
3. The other person is Jackie Chan. He also looks the same, like Sir, and Gurung.

Sometimes I get confused. One day, I asked Papa, are they all same.

Papa, said as usual, Fattu don’t ask such questions.

He did not answer but switched on the English movie channel. Can you believe it; he watched a movie, where all the boys and girls looked the same.

And they looked like Sir, Gurung and Jackie Chan!

I was more confused, so went ahead to read Garfield. At least he is the only one of his kinds!!!

By the way, I am soon going to a black belt in Karate. I hope I don’t look like “Sir” after that. Because, then there would be another addition to the whole gang of look-alikes.

And who would find Fattu then?

Please don’t tell me, Nasho Nasho….I don’t like it. I can use the Karate if you want- specially for people who use bad bad language in the blogs. Ishhh...